Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Self Reward #1

Hello blogworld! :)

                I always believe that when we work hard on something, we achieve what we want, we should reward ourself for our effort. It doesn’t really matter about the result, what matter is the endless effort. So, after one year of struggle learning about Well Construction Services, been through all the goods and the bads, I finally made it to LT1. Yeay, congratulation to me!

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Another Long Distance Relationship?

Hello blogworld! :)

            It has been more than a week my superman attended his training in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in the United States of America. So, its mean, we are having our phase of long distance relationship, or popularly known as LDR. But this LDR will be done before we realize it. It will only be going for one month and InsyaAllah, he will be back in Indonesia on Dec 3rd, and we already planned our vacation together. :D 

Sunday, 10 November 2013

One Year Seniority

Hello my blogworld! 

            Its been so long since my last post, really sorry about it. I was focusing on my breakout phase and my laptop was borrowed by WDS due to his was broken and needs laptop for his school preparation. But no worries, now I am back on track, to colour your day with my thoughts. Hhe :D

Sunday, 8 September 2013


          Tak terasa, hampir 11 bulan terlewati di sebuah kota yang digelar ‘Kota Minyak’ yang sekarang kian dibabat abis kuasa asing. Suka duka, pahit manis, semuanya bercampur jadi satu ibarat campuran air + bahan kimia + semen yang diaduk hampir tiap hari dalam sebuah alat dengan blade yang mirip punya ibu kalian di dapur. Aku tak perlu bercerita banyak tentang pekerjaanku di perusahaan asal Perancis ini, biar aku ga dibilang memprovokasi semakin banyak anak-anak Indonesia untuk bergabung disini. 

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Preparation : Savings

                Remember I have told you that I already found my ‘Prince Charming’ and we already planned to spend the rest of our life together?  Now, I will share with you about our preparation. What kind of preparation? Our SAVINGS for the D-day and the days ahead! *excited* :D

                Well, we already being together as a loving couple since April (maybe, Im not so sure because we did not decide any anniversary date for this), and started from May we have decided to plan every single details that are needed for our future. It’s not only about the wedding day itself, its also regarding our life after the ‘ijab Kabul’. Yes, we’re trying our best to prepare everything maturely. I believe that when we prepare for the worst, we will be able to control the situation. So, here we go, our first preparation is the savings. 

                Firstly, we have decided to spend a few amount of our salary, the same amount for me and him, every month. Yes, it’s a good idea, where we already take a few steps ahead to achieve our special mission. But then, the execution was not as smooth as how it should be. We supposed to start from June and by end of this month, we should have some amount of money that can be used later. But the reality shows different thing. We have NO SAVING at all! Yes, NO SAVING for the thing that both of us agreed before. What a shame. :”(

Sunday, 25 August 2013

It's You

The song that I will let the acoustic singer sings on my wedding day, by Westlife. 

There's a laugh in my eyes
There's a waltz in my walk
And it's been such a long time
Since there was hope in my talk
If you never knew
What it is that's new.. it's you

'Cause when your hands are in mine
You set a fire that everyone can see
And it's burning away
Every bad memory
To tell you the truth
If it's something new.. baby it's you

Saturday, 24 August 2013

Healthy Life Style?

Hello my blogworld! :D

This time I would like to share with you about my not-so-healthy-life. Why should I share this? I want to remind my self and you, my lovely readers how important of taking care of our health. No matter how much money we have, not even any cent can buy health, so, let’s take good care of it! :)

                To be honest, I am the kind of person who easily gets sick when I am on a super duper busy work, hectic and tight schedule. Sick here means my body resistant drop to its lowest level and then I just lay on my bed, energy-less. I am not sure whether it’s my body who can’t take it or it’s just that I am not mentally ready for all of that. Or maybe, it’s true that I am not having the best stamina. 

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Maaf Lahir Batin

Assalamualaikum and hello my blogworld! :)

It's Syawal already (okay, forgive me for this late post) and I would like to say 

"Maaf Lahir Batin"

To everyone who reading this blog. Yes, I would like to ask for my deepest apology to all of you as I may made mistakes in my posts and it's irritate or maybe hurt your feeling. I just wanna say, I did not mean it and it just came out. hhe :p

Saturday, 3 August 2013

The Holstee Manifesto

I am motivated. 

To do what I love.

To change what I dislike.

To live my life ultimately. 

To pursue my passion. 

To enjoy this one and only life given to me. 

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

To Love You More~

Starting yesterday, accidentally, I am crazy about this evergreen song by Celine Dion that was covered by Glee cast (Lea Michele) on the series show. I heard it before, I knew the lyrics, but I wasnt as crazy as I was since yesterday. Im not sure if this because of Lea's voice or Im just so into it. :P

If you check the lyric, it's telling how someone (a girl) is hoping for her ex lover to come back. Well yeah, I am not. Hello, Im having my future with me, why should I care about my past? :)))

Monday, 29 July 2013

Let’s Learn to be a Better Muslimah

Assalamualaikum, hello my blogworld! :D

                In status quo, it is not that hard to see a lot of numbers of muslim women who are covering their aurah by wearing head scarft. Apart from that, they are also excellent muslim women who has extraordinary achievement. Alhamdulillah, this is a good sign showing that by covering your aurah (most of them are covering their hair) doesn’t mean that you’re covering your brain. :)

                But then, there is a huge trend that is continuously coming up. It is the so called ‘urban hijab’ or popularly known ‘hijab style’. It’s a trend that seems likely a virus that easily get into most of the muslim women and spread it, at a nonstop motion. Yes, I do agree that we should look at things positively; yes I couldn’t agree any more about this. But then, if something that we’re seeing is going into the wrong direction, we should do something right? Alright, before I continue talking about this trend, why don’t we have a look at the guidance of covering our aurah and also some definition in it. 

Friday, 26 July 2013

Let’s Learn to Be a Better Woman (Wife-To-Be Journey)

Assalamualaikum, hello my blogworld! :)

                Hey, I am already 23 years old and I am about to get married with the one who loves me and he willing to grow with me through good and bad in order for us to be better. Yup, I am getting married, InsyaAllah when everything is fixed, of course all of my friends will be invited. This is a good thing; this is a huge pray, so I keep on telling myself that I should prepare myself for this one huge dream. :) 

                As I grow older, supposedly I should grow more mature right? But I am not so sure if I do grow maturely now. Pretty bad, but then at least I do realize that there are quite so many things need to be fixed. But for sure, the first thing that is needed in order for a better life with him in my future life, I should do something. Positive changes, I will call it. 

                For some people who know me since ages, they might realize that I have a very low level of patience. Yup, I am not that kind of soft hearted individual who will stay calm at most of the situation, especially when I am mad. I do not have a good self control for my anger. Well, I believe that anger and patience are two brothers who are related to each other and it suppose to be under control. ALWAYS. And because of that, in status quo, I am in the changing process of having better self control.

Thursday, 25 July 2013

A Moment For a Self Reflection

Assalamualaikum, hello my blogworld! :D

                This time I would like to share about two different things, but somehow both of the things are really matter to me. It is really important in terms of self actualization, self reflection, in order of myself to be a better person in the future. :)
                First of all I would like to share with you guys that I already decided to not submit any of registration form and the requirements for Community College Initiative Program 2014. Why? This important decision has been made due to certain important reasons. The big questions come out :

Friday, 12 July 2013

Catch Your Dream!

                When talking about dream, I believe it will be so close to our passion. It is the thing exactly we want, even I know sometimes (most of the times) it’s not easy to be reached. But one thing for sure, nothing is impossible. 

Friday, 5 July 2013

Muslimah World 2013 : First Phase Selection

Assalamualaikum and hello my blogworld! :)

I hope all of you are doing fine and have a great day. While me, as usual, always enjoying every moment of work, life and of course, love. Hehe ;) 

This time, I want to share with you about my participation in an event that is looking for a Muslimah Role Model. The event is Muslimah World 2013 and it was founded in 2010 by Ibu Eka Shanty. The main intention of this event is to provide a platform for a muslimah, of course those who are wearing khimar or hijab (as famously known) to inspire one another and learn to be better from time to time. I personally did not see this as a competition, but I think this event is purely to provide more support for talended, smart and sholeha muslimah to stands out and show what they got. 

A Day With Balikpapan Berkebun

Ive been following @IDberkebun on Twitter since few months ago, and seriously wanted to join if the community existed in Balikpapan. Stupidly, I never asked the admin about it, and until last week, when I was in Pendingin (I will have a special post for this one soon), I saw on Twitter that there is @Bpnberkebun! Oh my, after almost 8 months staying here? Yes, kinda my fault. -___-

Alright, lets go to the story. On last Sunday, after registration on Twitter (the event was a collaboration between @Bpnberkebun and @akberbalikpapan) I and my super partner went to the venue. I don’t really know where exactly it is located, I just follow my instinct. Hahahahaha But thank God, I found it. It’s in front of my favourite mall, Balcony (for the cheap movie tix, of course). The venue was Panti Asuhan Ummi (an orphanage). As usual, me, a super shy Icha slowly gets into the orphanage and standing in front of the door until the orphanage manager came out and asked us to get in the house. The house was quite big and in my honest opinion, it’s quite comfort (by looking at the living room) for the kids who are staying there. 

The orphanage manager, lets just call her as ‘Ibu’ (fine, I stupidly did not asked her name) invited us for a lunch. And we’re really sorry because before coming there, we already had our lunch after playing badminton with Well Services KAL Team. We’re seriously full. And of course, we’re on healthy diet program too. Haha :p After having lunch, the committee are preparing the presentation. As far as I know, @akberbalikpapan is part of Akademi Berbagi where they are focusing on teaching. So, that’s mean we were having a class on that day. Yeay! :D The class for that special day was about Urban Farming, the knowledge was shared by Pak Widodo, someone who is expert about farming (he is working with a company that provides plant seed and has his own business too). 

He taught us how to have our own small farm using poly bag and utilize the surrounding area of our house with green plant. The steps are seeding, planting and giving appropriate fertilizers for our plants so that they get proper nutrient. The steps are so simple and I can practice it at home (but now Im still focusing on my breakout & promotion steps, so maybe after I get my grade 8 I will have my own farm :) ). 

The class session

After the class finished, we’re invited to the backyard of the orphanage where we’re going to have the farm. I helped to carry the sand and fertilizer (from goat waste, if Im not mistaken). The fertilizers were really smelly! Haha :p But it’s okay, the experience much more worth it than the smell of goat. Haha :) ) The backyard area was so huge. The orphanage have their own  space (like a pond) that is full with cat fish (lele), have chicken farm and also goat at their backyard. The chicks and goat are the greatest enemy for the farm that we’re going to have, so that’s why they built a fence all over the farm for protection. 

Building the fence

First of all, before we start to put the seed into the poly bag, we have to prepare the sand + natural fertilizer. The ratio was 2:1 (sand : fertilizer). Oh ya, before going to the event, I bought myself a shovel and handglove, that has flower motif (I did not wear it because its too flowery, MALUUUUUU) -__-“. I used my shovel to help mixing the sand and fertilizers. I thought the goat waste smell was the worst part, but its not. WORMS are the worst part! Oh God TT___TT I dislike worms so much and accidentally tells it and one of the orphanage, Rizky was really naughty and he keeps on giving me fresh worms that he found in the sand. I shout and actually almost cry. Swear it. --___--

Mixing the sand + fertilizer

Fine, lets forget about the worms story. Now get back to farming session. :) ) After finshed mixing the sand and fertilizer, we put the mixture into poly bag, the amount of the mixture was ¾ of the poly bag. And then, we take the seed and take out the plastic wrap and put in the hole inside the poly bag. Put it until the level of the root so that the stem will not be rotten. And we’re ready to arrange the poly bags at the farm! :D

Mbak Nisa planting the seed :D

We spent almost 1.5 hours doing the farming. It was a good experience, where I got the chancee to be part of a community that really care about the environment, education and I could also get to know a lot of new friends and widened my circle of life. I hope the community will continue to grow and brings out positive impact to the society and environment, not to forget, to our nation. Apart from that, by having the activity in an orphanage like Panti Asuhan Ummi, it makes me realize how grateful I am to have a complete family and a very good life, compare to them, the unfortunate kids. Oh ya, my partner and I have a special mission for the kids there, hopefully we can make it real so soon. Aamiin. :)

The seeds, all green ^__^

That’s the story of mine. A day where I getting involve in a community in Balikpapan, the city where I was assigned by Schlumberger to work with (for, more suitable I think) them. 

Sorry if my English is so damn bad. Hihihi :p Have a good day, peeps! :D )

Note : All photos are belong to Kak @saputrakingdom


Saturday, 15 June 2013

Move On?

Assalamualaikum, hello my blogworld! :)

Ok, sekarang saya lagi mood baik untuk bercerita tentang suatu hal yang sangat pribadi (kayak postingan sebelumnya enggak aja) :3 

Apakah anda yang sedang membaca blog ini seorang perempuan? Apakah anda yang sedang membaca blog ini pernah jatuh cinta lalu patah hati berkeping-keping? Apakah ada yang sedang membaca blog ini pernah menjadi korban PHP? Dan masih banyak lagi sih pertanyaan, just too lazy to type. -__-

To the point, sharing kali ini saya akan berbagi pengalaman bagaimana saya move on dari kisah patah hati impian yang hancur berkeping-keping itu. It’s not easy, yup it’s true. But then, I finally made it. Successfully! :D 

Sebelum kita lanjut ke cara-cara move on yang sudah saya praktekkan, marilah kita siasati dulu permasalahan para kaum hawa (lagi fokus ke cewe aja ya, soalnya saya cewe) yang baru saja impian masa depannya dimusnahkan oleh sesuatu (bisa jadi orang, dan paling penting itu ya terjadi karena takdir. Anggap saja begitu).

Menurut pengalaman saya (maksudnya diri saya sendiri ya begini), perempuan itu adalah makhluk paling aneh sedunia. Suatu ketika mereka (ahem, saya termasuk) akan jadi makhluk terkuat di dunia, di suatu detik yang lain akan berubah drastis jadi makhluk super labil dengan deraian air mata tanpa henti. Lalu di beberapa ketika kemudian akan jadi monster yang ganas dan akan marah-marah ga jelas. 

Girls are complicated. It’s a fact. Tapi jangan pernah dijadiin alasan! 

Sebagai makhluk super sensitif, lebih baik kita gunakan akal fikiran yang sudah dikurniakan Allah SWT ketimbang berlarut-larut dengan perasaan. Iya, saya akui kalau disaat-saat seperti itu perasaanlah yang paling menguasai. Gimana enggak coba, kita udahan dengan orang yang udah buat rencana masa depan yang begitu indah dan berbunga-bunga buat kita nanti. Pasti deh ngerasa makhluk paling malang sejagat raya, hopeless banget, nge-down banget, abis udah harapan hidup. Yes, I experience it, girls! :)

Akal fikiran yang masih waras ini seolah-olah ga wujud lagi. Perempuan-perempuan lemah kayak saya (dulu) ya fikirannya macem-macem, dan semuanya NEGATIF! Kalau bisa dibilang, kewarasan itu udah hilang total dan yang bersisa itu ya cuma tubuh + sedikit nyawa untuk menyambung hidup + air mata yang ga pernah berhenti mengalir. Lama-lama begitu ya bisa gila. 

So, kira-kira tau kan masalahnya apa sama perempuan-perempuan labil itu? 

The answer is simple, perempuan-perempuan itu (termasuk saya) terlalu menggantungkan harapan sama manusia lalu meninggalkan yang udah nyiptain manusia, Allah SWT. Semua hal itu, ga akan pernah terjadi tanpa izin Allah. So, jelas kan, kalau misalnya putusan sama pacar, ya itu pasti udah ditentuin sama Allah di buku hidup kita. Who knows, emang bukan jodoh. Who knows, bakalan dikasih yang lebih baik dari dia (ahem, yang sekarang he is loooh :D). Who knows, things will always getting better? For now, mikirnya yang prositif-positif aja. Jauh-jauhinlah itu fikiran negatif, gada manfaatnya. 

Cukuplah ya dengan masalah perempuan. Sebenarnya masih banyak, tapi menurut saya ibunya permasalahan itu ya gara-gara negative thinking itu tadi, terius jadi beranak ke banyak permasalahan lainnya. Dear lovely girls like me (hahahahahahahaha -..-) keep optimistic yaaaa :D

Mari kembali ke cara-cara move on yang udah saya praktekkan. Hha :))

1. Buanglah masa lalu pada tempatnya

Awalnya saya berfikir saya ga akan bisa (see, lagi-lagi negative thinking). Ya karena menurut saya, orang di masa lalu saya itu adalah yang pertama dan terakhir (eaaaaa alaynya dimulai). Ga akan pernah tergantikan, karena udah nempatin ruang hati yang paling dalam (beuh bahasanya -___-). Di sela-sela waktu saya masih loh mikirin dia, mikir kalau saja bisa balikan dan memulai lagi semuanya. Dan hasilnya, saya nangis hampir tiap hari. Karena semua yang saya fikirkan ga akan pernah jadi kenyataan! Toh juga baru putusan dia udah ada pacar baru. Laaah berarti apa coba? I mean nothing to him kan? Why should I keep on hoping to him? 

Susah banget ya terima kenyataan. Apalagi kalau dulu kita yang disamping dia, malah sekarang udah ada orang lain. Tapiiiiiiiii, setelah berfikir keras, saya harus bisa membuang masa lalu itu di TPA! Because I want to! I want to live happily, even without that man. Oke, bukan maksudnya putus silaturrahmi, tapi ya sepertinya lebih baik kita tidak lagi berkomunikasi dan ya, mungkin ga saling mengenal aja deh ya. But then, itu keputusan yang buruk. Silaturrahmi tetap dijaga dengan kondisi yang sewajarnya. Ya ga mungkin kan kalo lagi bête pulang kerja ngadunya sama dia? Bisa-bisa ditabok pacarnya. -___-

Jaga jarak, komunikasi seperlunya. Lalu, kita akan berhasil mengikis sedikit demi sedkit sisa masa lalu yang masih tersimpan. Ga ada yang bisa menghapus kenangan, tapi jika kita berusaha untuk tidak memikirkannya, maka kenangan itu pun ga akan pernah menghampiri. 

2. Sibukkan Diri

This is the main thing I keep on doing since I realize I have to forget my past. Iya, ketika saya sibuk dengan kerjaan, sibuk dengan kegiatan saya sendiri yang seabrek itu, jelas banget kan kalo saya ga akan punya waktu walau sedetik pun untuk mikirin masa lalu? Hhe :D 

Sibuk sih sibuk, tapi jangan sampai ga fokus donk yaah. Menurut saya, kesibukan yang paling baik untuk dicoba saat kita berusaha move on adalah kesibukan yang berfokus. Kalau saya sih, memilih untuk sibuk mengejar school (training kantor) dan menyelesaikan iLearn (tugas kantor, semacam tugas kuliah. BUANYAK!). 

Tau ga sih kalo modul iLearn saya itu banyaaaaaaaaak banget. Setengah tahun baru beres untuk pre-school dan post school nya. Huaaaaah T__T Belom lagi disuruh presentasi untuk penilaian progress sama Bapak FSM, kerjaan harian yang harus diberesin dengan waktu libur cuma sehari seminggu (dulu, sekarang udah 2 :D), kegiatan Loss Prevention Team (yang ini mah meeting muluk. Hhe :p) ya jadinya 24 jam saya benar-benar dimanfaatkan di jalan yang benar, terhindar dari kegalauan. Hihihi :P  

Selain itu, kalau ada waktu luang janganlah dihabisi dengan termenung. A BIG NO! Saya sudah mengalaminya. Keseringan termenung akan berbanding lurus dengan tingkat kegalauan. Cius qaqaaa -__- Kalau perlu, selama dalam fase berusaha move on, jangan deh sendirian. Yakinlah, ga akan sukses move on nya. 

Nah, kan ciwi-ciwi cantik manis kan indentik dengan shopping, coba deh sibukkan diri dengan begitu. Ya tapi jangan belanja sampe tekor juga kale. Kalau dompet ga mengizinkan, ya cukup jalan-jalan ngelihat baju baru, jilbab baru, buku baru (kalo buku ya saya banget. Hho :D), siapa tau bisa nabung buat dibeli bulan depan *eh hihihi :P 

Just do something girls. Let yourself busy. There’s a lot of activity that you can do, more beneficial and brings out positive impact. Especially for you, who are fighting to move on from your past. :)

3. Dekatkan Diri ke Sang Pencipta

Buat yang ini, seharusnya jadi yang pertama sih. Tapi ya gpp lah ya, its not in order though. Just the thoughts that popped out. :)
Simple sekali. Berwudhu, sholat, berdoa, membaca al-Quran & memahami isinya. Sholat malam. Puasa sunnah. Menghadiri pengajian di mesjid terdekat. Berteman dengan orang shaleh/shalehah. Ga susah kan? 

I did it. Even until now. Well, for the part of ‘menghadiri pengajian’ itu ada bonus sih, di mesjid kantor ada ceramah tiap Senin, terus hari Jumat ada pengajian khusus Muslimah, jadi ga perlu ke mesjid yang jauh, apalagi schedule kerja saya gaje begini. Hee :)
Rasanya akan nyaman sekali. Jika kita malu untuk curhat dengan manusia, curhat deh sama Allah. Minta sama Allah. Minta dikasih petunjuk, apa yang terbaik buat kita. Untuk semuanya, mau jodoh, rezeki dan macem-macem deh. 

4. Luaskan Koneksi

This is the interesting part. Yang saya tau, ketika seseorang itu galau, dia pasti ga banyak ngomong, menjauh, bahkan dari teman-temannya sendiri. Nah, itu kan bahaya. Mending kita berteman, ngobrol, sharing (ya ga harus tentang kisah patah hati kita kalo belum bersedia), just having fun. Mungkin gada masalah kali ya kalo buat berteman dengan sesama gender, gimana dengan beda gender?

Let me focus on this. Cewe, baru aja menghadapi masa lalu yang kelam, rata-ratanya akan susah percaya lagi sama lawan gender. Terutama yang ngedeketin pengen dijadiin pasangan gitu. It’s okay, kita kan lagi dalam fase penyembuhan, lagi nempelin keeping-keping hati yang berserakan pake hansaplast, tapi jangan selamanya ya ladies. ;)

Saya pernah menutup pintu hati. Iya, digembok lalu dibuang ke laut Pantai Kemala *halah* Rasanya males, capek kalau mau deket sama laki-laki. Karna punya pemikiran toh ujung-ujungnya akan sia-sia juga. But then, I realize that, ga akan selamanya saya hidup sendiri. Akan ada saatnya saya menemukan orang yang ternyata emang ditakdirkan untuk saya, dan dia ga akan pernah sia-siakan saya. Positive thinking is the key! :D

Maka, saya mulai memperluas koneksi. Ya buat nambahin teman, nambahin ilmu, nambahin rezeki dan siapa tau ketemu jodoh. Hihi :P Ketika berkenalan dan berteman dengan banyak orang, saya bisa belajar memahami karakter manusia, lalu belajar toleransi dengan sikapnya. Karna pada akhirnya saya juga akan meneruskan hidup dengan seorang manusia berbeda gender, so, penting deh :D

Dan ga nyangka kan kalo ternyata ketemu Bapak Negara? Hihihi <3 span="">

5. Positive Thinking!

Dari semua yang saya share di blog ini, ga akan pernah berhasil jika kita semua, para wanita yang kuat todak memiliki sifat yang satu ini. Positive thinking. 

Enggak perlu deh panjang lebar ngejelasinnya, cukup dengan kata-kata klasik :

“Semua yang terjadi ada hikmahnya”


“Semua akan indah pada waktunya”

Menurut saya, itu bukan kata-kata orang yang give up, melainkan keyakinan dalam hati bahwa takdir hidup itu sudah tertulis dan pastinya semua yang ditakdirkan itu baik buat kita. 

Positive thinking dan berbaik sangkalah dengan takdirmu. :)

Girls, if I can move on from my past, so can you, right? 

Keep calm & move on! :D

-Malisa Sudirman, moved on from her past after 6 months she broke up with her ex-

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Lets Talk : Self Confidence

''The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you''
William Jennings Bryan

I still remember when I was a little child, it was exactly when I was in kindergarten, my teacher asked me to do a poetry recital during the Teacher’s Day. It was my first time standing in front of the public, reciting a poem specially dedicated for my teachers. I don’t know where I got the bravery to stand up there, but all I know, it was the beginning of me building myself confidence. 

I am the first child, born in a average family. My mother did not take any formal education due to her family life was really under poverty back then. My father did not finish his primary school because he has to work to earn money so that he could help his parents. My family background somehow, at the beginning, made me feel so low esteem. I don’t think I could do better compare to my friends, because I don’t know, maybe just because I cannot afford things they have. 

But then, I realize one thing, that to be successful money and wealth is not a guarantee. I was inspired by those high achievers who have a under privilege background but really succeed in their future life. Starting from there, I have to build this one thing that I don’t have. it started when I was in primary school in Malaysia. Being an Indonesian born student in a national Malay school, I always get bullied by my friends. They always mocked me with harsh words. They even called me ‘Indon’, really inappropriate to call us, Indonesians. 

At that time, I have to do something. To reach something that would let me stands out. At least I could gain respect from my schoolmates who always underestimate me. I don’t know how, but standing in front of the school every Monday for the morning ceremony will always bring a good feeling for me. Step by step, I achieved a lot more things. It’s not only at the school environment that I perform in front of public just to do public speaking and poetry recital, but also inter-school competition. It’s getting more and more as the years goes by. 

How I gain the confidence to speak in front of hundreds, even thousands of audience? It’s not because of I want to gain popularity at my school. Popularity is just a bonus. Even I am not popular at all. hahahaha. And also, it wasn’t because I want to be respected by my friends who always bullied me. it’s all because of my parents. I want them to feel proud of me, of things they have taught me that could bring a lot of positive achievements in my life. I know that my parents never had the chance to have all these, and that’s why I am doing it for them. 

Everytime Im going to do something, I do have worry. Worry if I cannot make it, worry if Im not good at it, worry if I only will make people laughing at me. And this feelings, come everytime I want to try something new. Things I never thought that I could make it. But then, if I started to think of my parents, how they will smile looking at me successfully achieve something, I put my very best efforts to it. I don’t really care about result, because the most important thing is Im trying my best and let Allah do the rest.

Apart from that, I also love to do something that will break my boundaries, out of my comfort zone. It’s far more challenging than doing things you are used to it, because it’s different, it’s new and I believe it will reflects me in a very different point of view. Yes, I agree that not everyone can do everything. But then, it could be better if everyone have the guts just to try things out of their norm. In my opinion, life do needs colours and one of the way to create the colour is by having various of things to try on. This is how I define my own self confidence. 

All of us, are unique creature created by Allah and have our own potential in a lot of things. If you’re good at one thing, just go and have a shot to it. Make it big. Just ignore those who underestimate you. Because if they’re too busy doing that, it means you’re one step ahead of them and they’re also dreaming to do what you’re doing. Always think positively. You’re beautiful no matter what skin colour you have. You are smart no matter what scores you achieve in exam. You’re talented with your special ability. And lastly, you’re gifted, your life in this earth is to bring something good, let’s spread a good thing around you. Be confidence in whatever you do! ^__^

Opening Speech for IDEA Debate 2010 :)