Thursday, 25 July 2013

A Moment For a Self Reflection

Assalamualaikum, hello my blogworld! :D

                This time I would like to share about two different things, but somehow both of the things are really matter to me. It is really important in terms of self actualization, self reflection, in order of myself to be a better person in the future. :)
                First of all I would like to share with you guys that I already decided to not submit any of registration form and the requirements for Community College Initiative Program 2014. Why? This important decision has been made due to certain important reasons. The big questions come out :

1. If going to USA means resigning, then what?

                If I will be going to USA (well, let say I pass the selection process), then I should resign from my job, right? 10 months of staying there to learn, to study about business and entrepreneurship, the big question pop out. How am I going to support my life after I come back from USA? Of course I am not going to search for any other kind of job or the one that is related to my experience in oil and gas services industry, because I do not want to. I am not going to work with other people anymore, once I have decided to resign. 

                How about my own business? Right, when the time I have to be departed to USA, my business InsyaAllah already started, because I already planned about the first collection to be launched on November 2013. But then, who will continue to manage the business from Balikpapan if I will not be here for 10 months? I already have the experience where I have given the responsibility to someone I trusted, but somehow it’s not going the way I want or event the way we want. Everything become mixed up and kacau. Who will take the responsibility for my very own baby that has just started to grow? 

2. Going to USA means….. postponing the wedding? Really?

                This one big issue has become a super huge problem to Mr. W and I lately. The climax was when both of us got into a big fight due to my very own decision to register for CCIP. Registering in CCIP means, I am going to leave him; I am going to postpone my very own wedding date that I already agreed since day one. 

                Not just that, it also related to budget matter. I know the fact that I already have my savings for that important day, but will it going to be enough? We have decided to share the amount of budget that is needed, and if I want to get married as soon as possible, it means I have to support him. But I will not going to be here, communication will be very hard (different time zone) and not to forget, both of us have a nightmare experience for a so called thing as Long Distance Relationship. That is really matter to me, and him. 

                If going means creating more harm than good, I think I just should not apply. So that I will not have any possibility of leaving, and everyone (include myself) will be really happy.  


The lesson learned from this issue: 

                As a young woman that is on a learning process to be a grown up and a mature lady, I should put my ego aside and think properly about anything that I want to choose for my own life. I should diminish the selfishness in myself if I do love my family and him. It is not about sacrificing our life for other person, but it is about bringing good things to our own life that is going to be shared with the one we love. Apart from that, I also learn to discuss anything that I want with the important people in my life. Discuss it with my parents, family and my husband-to-be, to ensure that I will make the best decision for all. :)


          Secondly, this is about the selection for World Muslimah 2013. For your information, I did not manage to make into the 100 semifinalists. Of course, at the moment I knew that I was not in the list, I was kinda sad about it, but then, I tried to accept the reality and maybe Allah will give me another chance at another moment, at another event. There are few things that I learned from this event. And of course, I got to to a self reflection very deeply. To know where is my weakness, where is my strength. But the most important thing is, I will not give up. InsyaAllah, I will try again next year, with a better preparation and of course, support from Mr. W, my dearest Bapak Negara. :)


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