Assalamualaikum, hello my blogworld! :)
Hey, I am already 23 years old and I am about to get married with the one who loves me and he willing to grow with me through good and bad in order for us to be better. Yup, I am getting married, InsyaAllah when everything is fixed, of course all of my friends will be invited. This is a good thing; this is a huge pray, so I keep on telling myself that I should prepare myself for this one huge dream. :)
As I grow older, supposedly I should grow more mature right? But I am not so sure if I do grow maturely now. Pretty bad, but then at least I do realize that there are quite so many things need to be fixed. But for sure, the first thing that is needed in order for a better life with him in my future life, I should do something. Positive changes, I will call it.
For some people who know me since ages, they might realize that I have a very low level of patience. Yup, I am not that kind of soft hearted individual who will stay calm at most of the situation, especially when I am mad. I do not have a good self control for my anger. Well, I believe that anger and patience are two brothers who are related to each other and it suppose to be under control. ALWAYS. And because of that, in status quo, I am in the changing process of having better self control.
It is not easy. Like seriously, before this, I just got to say whatever I want whenever I got mad. Even at one point, I ever throwing things just to release the anger (this is a true fact of me). Mr. W ever seen me having this super madness at the beginning of us being together. Seriously I just got mad for a very small thing, and everything becomes a disaster. It happened once, and it is enough. Enough for creating an unacceptable situation.
For the first time (okay, I finally realize it), that is not a good thing at all. Hahahahahaha. Yes, you may laugh at me. I do feel guilty of doing that. I destroyed my own life for ages and I hurt so many feelings. I want to stop. I want to have a change. I want to be better. I want to have a positive life. I want to have more patience. I want a new me. That is what I keep on saying to myself.
Alhamdulillah, this issue has brought out something good in current situation. Alhamdulillah, I am still given the chance for a life change. He supported me so much. And finally he successfully sees a better Ms. M in his days after the disaster incident.
I just want to be better, at each and every second of my life. Not only for myself, but for the one I love, for my surrounding. I want to prepare myself for the next phase of my life. My life of being a wife to Mr. W. InsyaAllah, I will put huge effort to it. :)
|Emak-emak to be :p|