Saturday, 30 June 2012


Hello blogworld!

this time, I would love to write about failure. yes, GAGAL. things people dislike, people even try as hard as they could to avoid it and when they have to face it, this can be a huge challenge for them. whether they could go through it, or this failure will make them drown deeper. 

for me, failure is a form of different point of view of life experience. and I do think, everyone ever felt that. no matter how big or small the failure is, I am sure it does create impacts to the life of these individual. and I hope it shall be a positive one. after a failure, a better change will happen. furthermore, a failure is a moment to learn and contemplate about our own life. as if we ever did mistakes before. for example, you fail in your exam for certain subjects. the issue might be, you did not study hard and smart before, you have problem with the teachers and even you might have problem with your God.

when you experience a failure in your life, positive thoughts and actions are needed. because you have to stand up once again. you have to try harder, even smarter if you could. if you try again and you still got to be failed, never ever stop trying. to achieve something good, something better you have to do more. when a failure is the result of your effort, it means you are not putting maximum efforts to it. if your attempt is at the scale of 10, and others who succeed doing it at the scale of 100, you're only dreaming to achieve your dream. standing still at you scale 10 efforts and hoping it will bring you to the sky, I dont even think God will reward you as how He reward those hard worker.

let me share with you about the power of efforts. USAHA. I am a person who experienced a lot of failure in my life. I really mean it, a lot. did I ever give up to even trying once again? yes I ever did. but I do not continue giving up and just accept everything that happen to me. I know that if its not me to change about what happen to me, no one will do so. even I believe God will not change my life to a better one if I keep on standing still. I woke up. I realize things need to be fixed. a lot of things. my personal character, my attitude toward others especially my parents and elders, my friends and environment and most important, my ibadah to the one I believe.

I ever mention about the scale efforts before. and that's what I did. I wake up from my dreams, I stand on the reality. I face all of the trouble and challenges. and I, run for my own dream. when others are running after me, I increase my speed. this is a life competition, and we're running for our future. be a good player and play fairly. I mean, compete in a good way, do not taking advantage of people. if you try and still failing, once again, dont give up. dont stand still. my friend ever said this:
"even a small kid knows, when they fall down when learning to walk, they stand up once again. because they know they want to be able to walk"

How many times I failed? A lot. What I did? I wake up and run faster. If others will run after me, I'll increase my speed. That's the power of efforts. And I, did create my own history. A good one.

A Random Writer

Thursday, 28 June 2012

a week to go, need to run!

Hello blogworld!

seems like I am too busy with my LA *ahem, busy* then I am not spending my time doing curhat here. hhe well ladies and gentleman, I am now running after advisers, especially my 1st adviser because she hardly can be found at the campus. thanks to my 2nd adviser who is always at the campus and always there to help. its exactly a week before the draft submission, mean a week to run faster to get the exam recommendation! I want to be graduated, my family already bought the tickets to  be here on September, a job is waiting for me to get my degree and  I really want to be free. dear God, please make it run good and smoothly. only You Im asking to. You always know what's best for me, and I will try my best to get it. InsyaAllah, when there's a will, there's a way. I will be graduated this September. aamiin :)

Monday, 25 June 2012


I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better

You and me together

Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down

And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

You and me together

Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world

To find something like what we have
I know people will try, try to divide, something so real
So till the end of time I'm telling you there ain't no one

No one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh 

Performed by : Alicia keys

Friday, 22 June 2012


hello blogworld!

yes, another 3 weeks to my final examination, SIDANG LAPORAN AKHIR and Im still struggling with the report. I mean having a really trouble moments with this. and a week before the exam, I have to dubmit the draft. am I ready? I dont knoooowww! -_________-

Im having this serious final exam sindrome. I cant sleep well. right now its hard, extremely hard for me to sleep. though Im really sleepy. Im eating more. more than usual Icha who eats a lot. well, I eat extremely lots. and sometimes, I forget my meal. see how labil I am?????

okeh, Im in huge galauness. I need guidance. Dear God, please help me. show me Your way. I know You will always give Your best for Your ummah. I need You..... :'(

Thursday, 21 June 2012

too much of "honeymoon year"???

hello blogworld! 

today is a brand new day, many things happened to me and still, there are good and bad things. but let consider as a lesson to learn and keep that in mind. well, i would like to tell you a story. a story of mine. the average, so-so, extremely lazy, and less hardwork Malisa Sudirman. right, its me -___-

when you read the title, please do not defines it as I am going for a honeymoon. nooooo, that's not the meaning. what I meant I, myself spent too much playing during my college years. okeh, I do admit this is too late to realize but, then better than Im not realizing it at all right? hha :P 

what I did during my college years? hmmm this is a huge question. really. I mean, my answer probably will never fulfill any of my major SKS. because I never put that as my top priority. poor me. okeh, I'll answer that. firstly, before I became a debater I was a really nerdy student, classes-library-bed. I did that everyday as a damn bore routine, till I found back my high school passion, debating! since that, my college life turns 180 degrees from how it should be and I keep on leaving a lot of classes for the sake of training and attending debate tournaments, yes, outside palembang and even sumatra. and I keep on doing it until now, my 6th semester. last month I was in Depok adjudicating for ALSA e-comp UI. :P 

and today, I just realize that I was into it that much till I forget my real responsibility when I enrolled myself to this college. to learn Chemical Engineering as my major and to build my interpersonal skill too. but then, I lost my focused and I think I just put my priority wrongly. and what worse is that I just realize that how small my GPA is! 3.11 for me? well, Im not running after grades but I know that I can do much better. far way better than this. I know people will say its too late to realize, but then again, its better that I realize rather than never at all. too much of honeymoon year? yes. too late to realize? no. GPA can change? nope, I dont think so. future can change? yes, absolutely! I will decide my future, put my priority on top of others and no more having gaje fun. good day people! :)

Wednesday, 20 June 2012


hello blogworld!

this is a serious post. about my future. not as an employee of the French based company, but a boss to my own business. well, I do have this ambition long ago, but not really taking it seriously until I met this one guy, who is my boyfriend now and Im influenced by him to let this dream come true! :D

the current status quo is I am a final year student, doing my final report, will be graduated in September and on my way to be hired by one huge oilfield services company. everyday, since few months ago Im spending much time in front of laptop and papers doing my report, meet the advisers and get scolded and sometimes get into classes on thursday, friday and saturday. and not to forget my debating stuff, still doing it even now. my crucial year. well, I love it. :))

but then, this status quo made me questions myself. is this the life I want? keep on doing routine, lack of challenges, bored lifestyle and not even meeting any new people to widened my network? I dislike it. totally. this is bored. but do I have choice? I did. but did I take the decision to make the choice? I did not. I keep on waiting. because I am afraid of taking actions. really afraid and I even once told my boyfriend how pessimistic I am when he ever told me about doing business long ago, before we get into this relationship.

as time goes by, I realize something. something which is really big and bold. and everyone, keep on talking about it. "if others can do it, why cant I??" yes, if a lot of people out there, no matter what are their background, can do it, why dont me, Malisa Sudirman cant do it? even better? I ever read this in a book, entitled '2' --> "jangan pernah sesekali ragu dengan kemampuan manusia, karena Tuhan pun tak pernah" and that's it, I am gonna make it. when? now. how? we'll figure it out.

yes, I might still in a very blur condition, no direction at all. but what's the use of others. my boyfriend is always here (there) to help. I do even have friends that asked me to start this with them. I have lots of sources, thank you the internet connection. and what's important, I have God. Allah SWT who will always grant His ummah that work hard and will always open His door to rizky. He was the one who let me live, and He will also guide me to fine the way on how to survive. Bismillah, lets start a new life people! :))

Monday, 18 June 2012

Melawan Kesepian

Apapun yang terjadi
Berjalanlah tanpa henti
Air mata tertahan
Waktu untuk dijatuhkan

Nanti kita kan tahu

Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apapun ini
Pelajaran yang bererti

Semoga kepergianmu

Tak akan merubah apapun
Semoga mampu ku lawan

Apapun yang terjadi
Berjalanlah tanpa henti

Monday, 11 June 2012


Me :)

It was a moment of a life time, I was crowned as the Runner Up of Mahasiswa Berprestasi Nasional (Diploma III) Nasional last August in Jakarta. Every tears and heart broken has turn to the happiest moment ever. No one would have ever expect, that I would even pass the challenge, furthermore with flying colors. But everything that happens not to prove anything, but just to let them realize, I am a non-cum laude student, but you always failed to bring me down, because I do believe in my self.

The journey of getting the title wasnt easy at all. Moreover, when there are so many people who will really love to see you get into a deep hole rather than be a  star that shine a little bit more than them. Where your ability is also being undermine because you are more than below average student. I know who I am. I realize how my academic achievement is far away from you a 4 flat student. The lowest GPA and least achievements, what else can I do other than keep on praying and hoping for the best. With a very minimum knowledge of how to write a scientific paper (well, this one seems like me doing my LA at 4th sem). 

I started the journey with the only ability I have, a better English, written and spoken compare to other students, but still they are many those good English speakers in my major. actually I was forced to do so. to write the scientific paper which I never had any experience and no idea at all till finally the lecturers took the initiative to give me the title. during my major selection, they were two candidates left because others withdraw them self due to personal reason and both of us submit the things needed. our CV, the copies of certificates and our scientific paper. and suddenly, the announcement was made and I was chosen as the representative for my major to campus selection. right, it was unexpected, but then Alhamdulillah. for me, its a good start. for a average student like me. a high CGPA will never be a guaranty for you to achieve higher in life. (bold and underline that word)

then the campus selection was made at the end of May 2011. and I was the first candidate to present my paper, without any experience and only holding on my debating skill I finally made the 10 minutes of presentation in front of 8 juries. then, 30 minutes of Q & A sessions with them, it was a moment to remember. because I know I am not that good academically, but my 'ngeles' skill is higher than the lecturers ever thought. hhe Alhamdulillah, their questions were answered and I have to wait for other 10 candidates to present their paper. during that time, I give everything to Allah. I already did my best, put a lot of efforts on it and now its time for Him to decide whether I deserve that or not. the announcement was a long wait. till finally I was called by the committee and they asked me to prepare the submission for the national selection. I was quite blur that time till my Kajur said I won the title! Alhamdulillah, huge thanks to Allah :)

when the announcement of the national finalist were made, again I cant stop saying Alhamdulillah. I made as the finalist, out of other 9 from polytechnics all over Indonesia. but, the national selection date made me think twice, well many time actually. because the date is at the middle of my VT program at Schlumberger. and as far as I know, I cant just get the leave during my VT. but then, thank God that I have  a very sweet recruiter, Ibu Kris that she allowed me to postpone my VT till I finished my national selection. from that moment, I know that I have to again, do my best. because I already get the support from many people and tehy're praying for me. especially my parents. the preparation was made carefully and I get the help from some lecturers to learn about a lot of things for my nationals. they even force me to walk properly with my heels! hha 

the grandfinal of the nationals were held in Jakarta and I get all of the luxury, for free! yes, that's what Im waiting for. hhe :D they were 26 finalist there, 10 fro D3 and 16 for S1 students. though we're from different level of education, but we dont see huge gap among us. yet we can still get into each other and always have that togetherness, though we're competing. and that's good. the final selection was divided into few criteria. psychology test, paper presentation, English skill and extracurricular activities interview. and the selection was only made in one day and few dyas I spent in Jakarta was full of jalan-jalan. we were brought to Diknas office, Tukul Bukan Empat Mata Show, Seaworld, Astra etc. it was fun though its Ramadhan and most of us were fasting. and the announcement was made at Diknas and I get second, after my sweet room mate from Bali, Tina. and 3rd, goes to my debating friend, Fatma. 

Alhamdulillah, a very good life experience. and this is very valuable and totally unforgettable. especially for me, who always being underestimated and undermined. have a good day everybody! :D

Sunday, 10 June 2012

to get married

hello blogworld! please, dont get me wrong when you read the title. Im not announcing that I am getting married at this early moment, but Im just telling my thoughts about this matter. :))

first of all, I would like to start with my own definition of marriage. to have one, is a combination of two strangers, yet you are boyfriend girlfriend before still, you're strangers toward each other. and those who gets into an arranged wedding, will be strangers furthermore. but, no matter what, in both condition, both of the bride and the groom are different individuals and the wedding is the next phase of the relationship. the real one. all of the hidden stuff especially your bad side will be exposed in a very short moment. in my opinion, a marriage is about be a real you and accept the next person who sleeping next to you every night for as who they are. marriage is about acceptance. my own example of arranged wedding is my parents. personally, I am refused for my own marriage to be arranged, because I have my own right to decide my own decision. but I am not denying, that arranged wedding is a good thing too. but please, my mama and ayah knows that I cant get into an arranged one. hha :P

second, when will be the right time to get into a marriage? hmm what a question right? *even me asking myself this* :P according to my 22 years experience of life *halah* as time goes by, the trend of getting married is getting older. its true right? just take a look during your grandma and grandpa wedding age, they are just teenagers! then compare with your parents, they are early twenties. and now, if you're 30 and still not yet married is a normal thing. especially for career man and woman. now, lets talk about my own opinion regarding this serious matter. personally, from the bottom of my heart *drama, as usual* I ever dreamed to get married as early as possible. not saying that when I got my first period I wanna marry someone, well its almost 11 years ago. hha early in term of modern wedding phase. time changed, so do people. if thirties are the most normal now, I want earlier than that. since high school, I ever planned to get married at 25. that's the maximum. at that time, I seriously had no idea who will marry me. pacar pun ga ada. haha :P but its a good thing to have that in your life plan. seriously. and until I met this one particular guy, who had the same thoughts as mine, came into my life and reaching the target, together. hee its not gonna be long, its gonna be very soon. when both of us are ready for everything we need in a marriage and our after life then. :)

next is what's needed in his next phase of relationship? a lot, I mean everything. both of you need to move into one place to stay not necessarily a luxury one, but if its enough for both of you then its ok. not necessarily to be owned by you but if you can afford a house before the marriage then that will be better. in my personal opinion, materials are in demand. I mean in acceptable condition. atleast to have enough facilities in a small place called home. again, in my opinion its not the responsibilities of the future husband himself, but also the future wife too. both, surely have own career and earn money by themself. then, why dont both have the small effort to have a proper financial preparation to start a new life. when its both hardwork, I think its much better rather than its only one side effort. may be the woman or man. apart from having the physical things, you (I) should prepare the mentally things. psychology. are you ready to get into this? is this the right person you wanna grow old with? is this the person who will listen to everything good and bad you say and act? is this the person you wanna be the mother and father for your kids? the most important thing is ask yourself. do self reflections, as much as you did. become a better person if you want to marry a good person. get others opinion. ask your parents. they will always have better thoughts, because they, eat the salt more *lebih banyak makan garam. haha* 

I think that's enough for the appetizer. lets get more marriage post after this! *kebelet? iya tapi belum waktunya. nanti, in the right time. right sayang? :) 

Saturday, 9 June 2012

my life would suck without you~~

Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life would suck without you

Baby I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you

-kelly clarkson-

Tuesday, 5 June 2012


she is extremely loud. 
her 'cempreng' voice, a regret to hear. 
she is extremely childish. 
when she wants something, she have to get it. 
her 'ngambek' is so cant be helped. 
she is selfish. 
everything have to be done according to what she prefers.
she is independent.
for 22 years of her life, she did almost everything, by herself.
she is a fighter.
fighting for her own destiny against those who underestimate her.
she, is me.
Malisa Sudirman
22 years old young lady
one of God's unique creation.
to spend a good life being His servant.
to achieve all of the impossible.
to be someone in her own way. 

Monday, 4 June 2012

a form of contemplation

Pencil  : I'm sorry. 
Eraser : For what? You didn't do anything wrong. 
Pencil  : I'm sorry, you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself and get smaller and smaller each time. 
Eraser : That's true, but I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this, I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong, even though one day I know I'll be gone. I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying I hate seeing you sad. 

"Our Parents are like the eraser, whereas we children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way they get hurt and become smaller (older and eventually pass on) Take care of your Parents, treat them with kindness and most especially love them."

something we called as hope

I am not the person with a huge ambition
I just walk my way
do things I want
explore the world as I am
with nothing to lose

As I walk through the road
they opened my eyes
for a so called thing,
called hope

a hope to see a smile
a hope to see a happy tears
a hope that I will be given the chance
a hope to let my parents have all that

Sunday, 3 June 2012


hey, its June already! means I have less than 2 months, only about 5 weeks to finish my final report. Dear God, help meeeeeeh -___-

and I have to consider few things for the sake of joining the graduation day, wearing my brand new kebaya, have my mama ayah adek and boyfriend during that day, I think I have to prioritize this final report compare to other things. 

Yes, I do realize this final report is important, 3 years I have spent here and that's the very final moment I where I can leave that place, the wrong major I have taken. the final report is the key to open the door to the outside world, and I have to do that. no matter what.

but I just hope that my decision is the most appropriate one. I have to leave those debating and adjudicating stuff for a while. I have to stay focus on what is really needed to leave the campus, my final report, my research, my advisors and my wrong major. hha 

wish me luck, everybodeeeeeh :D