this time, Im not telling something random, but a true fact. about me. I mean, about me in the eye of others. as far as I know. Ive been living in this world for 22 years, plus few months, Ive been through many things. experiences taught me about a lot of lesson to be learned. its about when people judge me. and this happens a lot of times. and I know, they're talking behind my back. and what's funny, people who listened to their gossips will report to me. hha lets check what they're talking :))
"Icha = Arrogant"
this is the most normal thing that I always heard. even until now. I dont know why actually. maybe because they just envy with me? hha no laaah. I think they judge me that way because they just dont know me yet. they dont know my struggle. they dont walk my way. they just dont know what Ive been through. life for me, isnt as easy as yours. its totally not easy to be me. Im always being undermined. wherever I go. do you think Malaysia is always fine for me? it doesnt be that way, actually. have you ever being insult because you came from a country that they call 'trouble maker citizen'? and in your own country, have you ever being undermine just because your parents, are earning money as TKI *harshly, you're saying this to me* in that neighboir country? and have you ever being said 'stupid' by your own lecturer? if Im being proud, not arrogant of what I achieved, dont blame me of being arrogant. you just dont know me yet. Im being thakful to God, because oh Him I have all these. and for those who still judge me arrogant, I dont blame you, its just you dont know me. and when you dont know who I am, stop judging me. :))
"Icha = Jutek Minta Ampun"
hahahahaha this is the 'I always heard people saying this'. okeh, I do have problem with social interaction with people. you may see me talking non stop with my close friends, but please, do not expect me to talk much with someone I just met or those I only know. means, I rarely talk to you, and you expect me to suddenly talk much? hhe I just cant. you may call me bawel, talk active but Im just not into that with a new people. I tried, and that needs time. time until one moment, I can talk everything with you. this jutek me also supported with my minder mindset. I always try to to improve on this, but I just dont know why I just cant remove this keminderan within me. heuuuu :| and this getting worse if Im all alone, in a huge group of people. and this happened during a major debate tournament that I attended alone. huaaaaah :(( its not easy actually, and I did took a long time to adapt with that environment. and thank God, I did, in the end. but still, until now, Im hard to do real social life and admit that Im jutek but that's all because of Im shy. huaaaaah :((
hmmm I think that's all, hha only two stuff. there's a lot for my weaknesses actually, but I think this both have major problems. maybe I'll share more in the future. have a good day people! ^__^