its the first day of August and here I am, trying to be a strong icha, after everything that already happened. so many things happened in my July. everything that can be considered as the most beautiful gift ever and also, the worst thing ever. despite everything that had happened, Im still standing. though not as strong as before, Im still here.
this is a new month, means a new beginning. I thank God for giving me the chance to live till today, to be grateful for everything He gave me, and for everything He already planned for me. I believe He already wrote a good story for my life, the best one. because I know, He never disappoint His ummah. but its just me, some time being not thankful for how lucky I am. to be born as a Muslim, to have a good parents, to have my best sister ever, to have a great (future) life partner, somehow, Im not being thankful for all that. went against my parents wish, not being a good example to my sister, demanding to much to that life partner, and not being good enough to my environment, I mean everyone. :((
I know there's so much to be done. a lot to be fixed. everything in every way that it need to be fixed. Im taking the challenge. Im 22 and should be an adult. not only by age, but also mind and action. that's my biggest weaknesses. I have tried. since long ago. but I realize that nothing in this life is instant. changes will happen step by step. sacrifices is needed, even its include feeling. the goal is betterment. for me and everyone around me. I might be labelled for being a NATO. no action, talk only. but then, its only my God and myself who knows what's happening inside here. a problem with myself, my own character.
I will try. harder than before. keep on evaluating myself. please, dont judge me, but guide me. Im just a little girl trying to be a grown up. always trying to be a better me for everyone else. please, pray for me. do support me. and let me be better. I always wanted to be so. :")
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