Sunday, 18 November 2012

Sincerely, Icha~


Dear you,

Its been so long that I haven’t write something nice between us. Yeah, I do apologize for being so childish all these times. And I do deeply apologize for disturbing your life with my stupid demands…

You know what, I am getting better now. So much better. I think my extreme decision I took last week actually does work out. And I don’t think you should know what was the action I have taken. Let me keep by myself. I hope you’re getting better too. Much better without me. I wish nothing, but everything the best for you, dear.

This one might be the last letter for you. I do hope so, because everything is over. There is no more ‘US’ but there is only you and I. we’re two different individuals, which for the time being, just unlucky enough to be together. God might have fated this. I do know that our life story already written and maybe this one also already stated. We’re not meant to be together. And I, I am learning to accept the fact. It’s hurt. A lot. But life must go on. 

For me, you presence in my life is a lesson in blessings. God sent you to bring out a better me. Yes, I might not be that better now in everyone’s perception. But after you’re gone, I know I have to do something regarding myself. A huge homework God left for me through you to be finished. It’s not changes actually, to be more specific, I called it betterment. Betterment in everything I do. Betterment in my own life.

I am thankful to met you. Out of billions human in this planet, I did found someone who once accept me as who I am. Who once loves me with all his heart. Who once will ever do anything for me. Yes, I am lucky enough to ever had you in my life. You had become a part of my soul. You made my life turns into colors. You taught me a lot about life, to see things from many angle. And I, have learn a lot from you. Thank you, my ‘Guru Hidup’.

In this last letter for you, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for standing by my side all these times. Thank you for making me laughs with your silly jokes and stories. Thank you for wipe my tears. Thank you for the understandings. Thank you for the all phone calls and sms that really made my day. Thank you for the affections and loves. Thank you for all of the time we ever had to meet. You did too much of good things, I just can’t explain it one by one. But the thing is, I am thankful to ever had you in my life. 

Now I am learning the fact that we’re no longer together. Being a single me back is hard. Maybe its hard for you too. But we ever had this before right? Why should worry right? It’s no easy to wake up in the morning knowing that someone ever love you is no longer there. It hurt so deep when I heard you said there is no more love for me. But I realize, ever choice has its own consequences. I believe now I have to accept it and learn from it. 

I am in a learning process. A life after you still needs to go through, no matter what the condition is. Since you left, I am trying to build myself. Picking up those broken pieces of heart are hard, but I will try. I am fixing myself now. Regarding everything. About me, my life, my surroundings and you. I just need your prayers. For me to be strong enough to go through all these. 

I hope you’re fixing your heart too. I am sorry for letting it broken once again. I am really sorry for repeating the same bad experience you ever had. I never meant to do it. Never. I will always pray for your happiness, like I always do. 

For both of us, I hope one day we’ll meet someone who will be our life partner, forever. We might be and might not be together. Thus, I just hope the best for us. I hope we can meet someone who completes us. I am not asking for a perfect person, but I just hope someone who will accept me for who I am and be my Imam and guide me. I hope you will also find someone who will completes you perfectly, be her Imam and guide her through God’s way. I will always pray for you and I. I also hope you will not forget about me. Because I won’t forget anything about you. 



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